For all the working moms

I got to work Thursday, sat down at my desk, closed my eyes and wondered-- "Why am I doing this? Am I just a glutton for punishment?" And when I say 'doing this' I am referring to being a working mother.

So, some background and then I will share what my heart told me.

Raliegh threw two of her BIGGEST and probably only (maybe I'm blocking one or two out but this is not a regular occurrence at our house) temper tantrums this week. Mark is away hunting. Normally when I tell her, "Ok, let's go to school. Or let's go to the Y" etc she is gun-ho. Here's a piece of a family email I wrote this week....

So, this morning Raleigh wanted a kid's tums (she likes the taste) and I told her no-- we don't take medicine everyday just to take it. She threw a fit on the floor and I told her she needed to go to her room to throw the fit. WEll, I had to carry her into her room and I heard her making a ruckus. I peeked in on her and she was punching her bed saying, "I'm not happy. I'm punching the bed!" Later she came out to me and was hitting her leg in exasperation saying "I want a little boy medicine and you won't give it to me." I said, "I'm not talking about the medicine until you apologize to me for being grumpy." She said, "I'm not grumpy I'm sad!!!" I kind of laughed inside because she had me-- I was thinking, 'well I can't tell her she's not allowed to be sad'. So I said her behavior was inappropriate even though she was sad and she said she was sorry. Then she said, "You need to say you're sorry to me because you won't give me medicine." I said, "I AM sorry I can't give you any medicine today. I"m soooo sorry it has made you so upset but that's no way to treat mommy, etc."

Then yesterday I won't even get into because it was a BRUTAL tantrum and I really think she was just tired. But, I had to get to a conference and get them over to the neighbors and of course was late. My mood was good however because Wednesday at bible study we read Acts 16. This is the passage where the apostles were redirected from their mission many times and eventually thrown in jail and beaten. All the while they had a great attitude. Well, I've heard this story since I was a little kid. But this time I was convicted as my life is not a FRACTION of how difficult it was for them and yet I cry in frustration (like Raleigh) saying, "I'm angry. I'm hitting the bed."

One year, shortly after Mark and I got married, Amy sent me these pajama pants that said, "It's all about me." I used to believe that WHOLEheartedly. At least those who loved me and surrounded me made me feel special and loved. This year, however, I have become a bit more tempered. I put the pants on and laugh. If I can think like the apostles, "This is not about us. This is about God's plan and his purpose for me." Then I can be a mom, do my job, be a wife, etc etc with less frustration.

Oh, and it doesn't hurt that Mark shot a beautiful bull and is on his way home with a truck full of meat and won't be needing to hunt for the rest of the season!! :)